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From “A Brief Moment in Time: One Recollection of Sexual Domination”
by Nancy Ava Miller

Thoughts cannot be timed like calendars or clocks; they span timeless worlds inside one. Writing is the link.
                                         
—Albert Speer, 1905–1981

     If a person could “go gay” and if I thus decided to do so, Cassie would be the girl I would choose. She’s tall but not too tall with a boyish build—small breasts, slim hips, long lanky legs and arms; and though she’s in her midthirties, she resembles a teenager. Her face, young and fresh, requires no makeup. In fact, makeup might be a detriment for one with skin so clean and eyes possessing a play of light deep inside the pupils, the type of light that earmarks one as intelligent. And indeed, Cassie is intelligent. She even boasts a PhD to prove it.
     But it is not so much the sweet looks and erudition that attracts me. In addition to those attributes, Cassie is a slut who craves pain in various forms (the whip, the hot wax upon her nipples) and who’ll readily widen her thighs to accept a dildo or some fluttering fingertips or, for that matter, a fist or dick up her cunt or ass. And because of this—her slutlike nature—it was easy, back in 1990 when I myself became a professional dominatrix, to recruit Cassie when I needed a submissive female for an S&M rendezvous.
     One such session I reminisce often. The man’s name was Ted—a pleasant fellow, blue-collar, bright, enlightened, and nice to look at with burly build and blondish hair. His eyes, by the way, held the same glow as Cassie’s. When Ted arrived, I kept Cassie hidden in the bedroom while I better acquainted myself with the newcomer. I pulled out my list of “generic” S&M fantasies although we’d already discussed his sexual leanings during a recent phone chat, and in fact, I’d received a letter from him too stating how he envisioned the activities and outcome of our threesome.
     “Just answer ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ ‘maybe,’ ‘question mark’ as I run through my S&M fantasy list, Ted,” I said. He sat straight and stiff upon my couch. “So we may better target your interests.”
     “Okay,” he said.
     “Yes, ma’am,” I corrected.
     His eyes lowered. “Yes, ma’am,” he said softly.
     Then I recited the fantasy list. It is the same list I’ve held and honed and used for decades and reads as follows:

          erotic teasing
          humiliation
          erotic clothing on the woman (if so, describe attire)
          being forced to go down on a woman (both her pussy and her ass?)
          breast worship
          foot worship
          massaging the mistress
          forced masturbation
          dildos
          bondage
          cock and ball bondage
          cock and ball torture
          spanking
          whipping
          exhibitionism
          voyeurism
          nipple play
          golden showers
          brown showers
          penetration of your penis with an object like a catheter
          enemas
          cross-dressing
          forced homosexuality or bisexuality
          being forced to taste or drink your own come
          lesbianism
          gags, hoods, blindfolds
          erotic shaving of your body
          infantilism, diapers
          menstrual blood
          erotic tickling
          erotic mind control
         
     In addition to the fantasies, I asked Ted how often he masturbated and when his last orgasm occurred. I also asked about his sexual goals. And then we were ready to proceed.
     When I entered the bedroom to fetch Cassie, I found her kneeling, hands clasped low behind her back, head bowed. She was wearing pink baby-doll pajamas with black pumps and white frilly anklets upon her slender feet. She looked, as usual, fifteen years old! I looped a delicate collar on her neck, sleek and long; and to that, I attached a leash.

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r Inquiries Welcome! Please call Nancy Ava Miller at (505) 281-6262, any hour, or call PEP at (505) 260-1324, M-F 9-5 MT,
PEP's Inquiry LoveLine
(505) 255-9255, any hour, or email Nancy at nancy at nancyava.com.

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